Claustrophobia

This is how I felt except add maybe 5 more people

Claustrophobia-An abnormal fear of being in narrow or enclosed spaces. Yes I am and I had a chance to experience it first hand just minutes ago. I had just attended an interview for a new Dean for the the College of Nursing, and before that I had been typing test questions all day. Upon leaving the interview I knew I needed to visit the restroom but I wanted to get back upstairs and then use it. I did not know where the stairs were so I joined the group on the elevator. It was a large group about 15 in a small elevator and we all crowded in. We were going from the ground floor to the fifth, but we don't have a fourth floor so it was not far. The doors closed and we almost made it to one and it stopped and being an old elevator it took a while for the doors to open. That while carried on and my boss made the executive decision to use the emergency call button. The man answered and asked if we were employees first. Which made us wonder if we were patients would they come faster. They asked for her name and phone number why? So they could call her later after they got us all out? I think we were on for like 15 minutes and they finally opened the door. I was getting to the point where my knees were getting weak and it was hot in there. I think we should all be able to go home and get paid call it workmans comp. I decided to walk up from the first floor. We were so stuffed we could not even bend over, one person had dropped something and someone had to use their toes to pick it up for lack of space.

Simple things to make me laugh

1. The hamster dance videos entertained me for a few minutes this morning. The song is so catchy, one I found has pictures of hamsters and the other is video clips of a bunch of people dancing in random places. I would have to say dat's my jam right now. I may just listen again and do my own little hamster dance behind my desk.

2. I entertained Abby last night after Bible study by chasing her and then letting her chase me, although I was wearing a knee length dress. When I was tired and not ready to break a sweat she proceeded to prod me on to more playing. I gave my list of reasons why I should not including; a knee length dress, flip flops, I needed to rest, etc. She then showed me what I should do in a dress: twirling and posing and singing a cute little song that I could not hear. It was marvelous. Then she would go right back to asking me to play and chase her again. Anita says she suffers from short term memory loss, so I asked her if she did and she tried to repeat what I asked a couple of times, then gave up and Anita chimed in and told her to say she forgot. And as a willing child she repeated it.

3. Tomorrow I will be having lunch with a family I used to babysit for. He was my boss years ago and that is how I started sitting for them. They are most wonderful and I love them so much. They moved away about a year ago to Texas and Heather and the kids are back to visit for a few days so we will be doing lunch. I remember when I would babysit I would come, I guess about 30 minutes before they would leave, and Heather and I would talk the whole time, up until she was walking out the door, and sometimes while she was walking out the door. The 3 kids are completely marvelous. Each has their own unique blossoming personality, that makes me smile. I have missed them so much and for an hour or so I will be able to relish in their presence. Hopefully I will be able to come and visit them sometime in the near future, since they are in easy driving distance.

Daddy and Me

Can anyone question this man's love for me?

Playing with Daddy

Prime example of dad assembling or fixing things. I was his big helper.

I say get that girl a tool belt!

What a sweet cuddly moment.

Daddy and Me

Well I wanted to post some adorable pictures of me and my daddy but for some reason this will not let me post them. I may keep trying or just give up until Monday.

Tribute to Dad

This Father's day I decided to put aside regular gifts and give one from the heart. I wrote a tribute for my father.

David Philip Johnson

The most important thing about my dad is that he is a man of God. I was too young to remember it, but he used to teach my Preschool Sunday school class. Years later he taught an adult Sunday school class and I preferred to come to his class than go to my own, it made me proud to sit under his teaching. He led our family in devotions. He knew the Word and I knew I could go to him with the questions I had and he would know the answer or know where to find them.
He was the leader of our family. He ultimately made the decisions of our family. He would seek mom’s advice and our opinions but ultimately he would make the call. He brought us together as a family through family night, where we would play games together, he taught me to love Risk and Railbaron. Sometimes we would even go see a movie. This meant a lot to me and I could see how we were very different from other families in the neighborhood. He was our protector, if only I would have listened more. When it came to the boys in my life he really did know what he was talking about. He knows me and what I need.
My dad is a jack of all trades. The man can make almost anything with his hands. Most of my furniture was hand-crafted by my father. He repaired and maintained the cars (unless the repairs were too difficult). I remember him replacing the Nova’s engine, using that huge lift to get it in, I still think he can fix anything on a car. Dad loves to sit down and build intricate model boats as a hobby. I can’t comprehend how he creates all the fine details, when his hands shake as much as mine do. The boats he has given us impress all who dare to ask where they came from.
Dad worked hard to provide for our family even though many days he would rather have been doing something else. Dad was made to be outside and I am so glad that is his occupation now. I remember vacations to Maine, where we would relax and dad would be working on the tractors, that was recreation to him. He is great at finances, although we never had a lot, dad would make it work, and we were never deprived of anything we needed. He taught me how to save and budget my money. He is very giving also, when my car died the day before they were to move he just decidedly announced they would buy me a car and I could pay them back later.
He had a hard time showing his emotions, but would cry when we needed to see his love and how much he cared. I know I hurt him many times with my words and actions but his love for me never changed. He showed me how proud of me he was. I remember if he was out of town for a play or choral performance he would send my flowers and a little note.
Many traits I have acquired from my father. He shares with me a love for all animals. Dad would own a zoo if mom would tolerate it. It would sadden him to see an animal die, he got attached to them so easily. He appreciated creation and would grow food from the sweat of his brow. He always enjoyed eating what he sowed and reaped. I remember him trying to hype us up about radishes and peas. Even though to this day I can’t stand peas, they make me ill. He gave me a love for the outdoors, taking us camping and hiking almost every summer. We also share an immense fear of snakes, even the thought of them gives us the heebie-jeebies.
My dad is a kid at heart. He would always play around with us. When hiking or camping he would pretend there were bears following us, and they would all have names. I think he sometimes relates more to kids than adults. Many days we have shared fish kisses and burp wars, I think I win.
I am so glad that God gave me to you!

Surgical Technology

I have received my official blessing to go to school from my boss and the dean! I will be able to just clock out and in for class and make 40 hours a week. YEAH. I will be a surgical tech in about 2 years. I am so ready for classes to start.

I have been fearful of this summer for two reasons. We have not truly had spring, we jumped to summer and 80s and 90s, so I am afraid of how high the temperatures will get this summer. With that, they crank up the AC in my building. I don't understand them, they cry poverty in the winter saying they can't afford to crank up the heat, but keep the AC running. But in the summer they keep it freezing in here. It is like 90 outside and I have a heater on me, I don't get it.

My second fear is that I will be bored all summer. Our senior students don't have any classes in the summer so I really have no work. I have dreaded this week but they are keeping me busy this week. I have been provided my one summer chore, to type up the annual report, this I take my time on doing a section a day, otherwise I could get it done in a day. But now yesterday I was provided a project that should have been done months ago, so I have a rush on it, but I have successfully completed it, now I just have to go back over it with one of the assistant deans.

I have been bringing my scrapbooking and books to read, but I have almost finished scrapping the photos I have and I can only sit with a book for about an hour before my mind starts wandering and I glance over the words.

Tiny Surprises

On Memorial day morning. I was putting up a raft from that weekend's lake trip, it had been just sitting outside and it needed to go into the storage unit. So as I opened the door I saw this whitish thing flash in front of me. I knew probably a cat had crawled in the dryer vent, although we do not have hook-ups they went ahead and put that in. Makes no sense to me. But then I looked in and saw a couple tiny kittens tumbling around in there. I went to get Rachel and we captured these pictures of our new leasers. There were 3 of them.

This first one was the most social and unafraid. Here are the two twins.
How they got in here.

Aww how lovey
The most shy one. I only got one shot of this one.
The sad thing is I checked on them too much so the mom took them away. We were really thinking about keeping one if the mom did not come back.

What Did You Do at Work Today?

I climbed on desks and chairs!
My day started as usual. I come in and check my mail, organize my work and decide what I will tackle for the day, or on a slow day decide what to do with my time. Since I am the assistant for senior faculty and the seniors get the summer off, I get bored pretty easily. I have had tons of exam questions to get ready for the fall semester, but I have to ration that out over the whole summer.

So I was going to work on one exam today, I was sure I would have to type all in because I seemed to have lost my electronic copy. Then as I was half way through and really getting frustrated, I remembered that my scanner does exist and it is marvelous. So I scanned it and a 5 hour job was whittled down to about an hour excluding the time I was stupidly typing it all in.

As I am finishing scanning another faculty came in asking for me to help her move something. She really doesn't give me any work unless it is manual labor so I became hesitant. I have to say no a lot when she asks me to help her bring stuff to her car that are too heavy for her but my protruding disks don't appreciate the weight.

So anyways, she first asked how agile I was, and I asked why. She needed someone to climb on her desk and take down a huge flag and put it up in the new office. I told her I was very agile but also pretty clumsy. She promised she would be there to catch me if I started to fall. So part of my fun filled Friday was climbing on desks and the arms of chairs. It brought enjoyment to my day.

I also decided to run down the hallway again, because it's Friday and I want to. I am also currently jammin to Nicole Nordeman, and with the door shut singing my heart out. I would laugh so hard if someone came through that door and entered in on my performance. If only I had a microphone and an amp, oh the fun I would have.

Held

Natalie Grant

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved
From nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair

This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it, let the hatred know
Our sorrow
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held

If hope is born of suffering?
If this is only the beginning?
Can we not wait for one hour
Watching for our Savior?

This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be HELD

Baby Hannah & My Mighty Mom

As I have been trying to gather my baby pictures to scrap them all I thought I should share some of these fun ones with you and brag on my mom. I know you reap what you sow. I am destined to have an 11 pound baby who decides they want to stay in for 3 extra weeks. Actually in this day and time, going overdue is unheard of and generally doctors don't allow it to happen, but I am sure my baby will still be 11 pounds anyways.

This is my mighty mom, pregnant with me. This picture was taken 3 weeks before I was born, oh yes she endured 3 more weeks of this. Let us also take into account the fact that at this point she only should have been 1 week away from giving birth. I was perfectly content to stay in my mom 2 weeks beyond my due date. What a trooper. Fun fact: for every week over your due date the baby gains about a pound.

This is me being inspected by my sister and father, two ears check.
Here is me on my birthday compared to my almost 2 1/2 year old sister.
Oh yes this is me on the day I was born, not 2 months later. Although I was the size of a 2 month old. Oh yes I was a 10 lb 6 oz baby. Another fun fact: mom had me all natural, no induction, no drugs, nothing. But she said she pushed like 10 times and I was out. I guess the two extra weeks did me well and it was time to come out.
Yep that's me again. Don't let my sister fool you around this time she tried to murder me.

New Nickname

WHITE GIRL FUZZY BALL! Yes I am.
This morning I was walking towards a faculty, who did not have her glasses on at the time and was really squinting at me then put her glasses up to her face and I gave her a weird look and she told me I was just a white girl fuzzy ball without the glasses on. I am down. I figured I would find some pictures that matched my white girl fuzziness.

Here I think it portrays my trendiness. I don't think it gets any trendier than a puff ball cat that has just come out of the dryer and has now taken residence in your hair.


I could be a cutesy white girl fuzzy ball. One your cat would want to play with.

So I am cute and playful.





Or this sort of frightening looking plant. It looks like it would be harmless, but from my experiences as a child, it would only look that way and then take out your finger upon touching it. Something you would want to squish and would leave porcupine-like quills in your tender little finger.

Or I am nice and innocent looking on the outside and treacherous to be near.

Is this what she was trying to say about me?



When I am rich and famous I will be known as White Girl Fuzzy Ball.

Pics that Would not Post

The other day these two pictures refused to post.

This is above the creek, it was so beautiful.

This is Rachel braving the creek, even before she got into the water. Oh and once they got in this aluminum death trap and put it in the water, they tumped on the first rapids. And every subsequent rapids. Aluminum just can't cut it.

She ended up later trading spots with another of the guys and was much more successful. Although she tumped like 10 times more than me, I ended up with a lot more bruises.

Praise the Lord

I received my letter this weekend. It is now official I have been accepted into UAMS Surgical Technology school. Now my prayer is that my boss will look favorably on me having some weird hours in the fall semester. If not I have been looking at other job listings in UAMS. I would like to stay where I am but I want God's will.

Big Piney Creek

Here is our fearless group, who braved the Big Piney Creek. Bryan, Matt, Jonathan, Luke, Rachel, Elijah and me. This was at the Outfitters.

This is the beginning of the creek. The water was great, kind of cold but very refreshing, the sun was shining brightly and warmly upon us.
Here is Luke and Matt, at the beginning they were the only ones to never tump. Luke ended up only tumping like 3 times total.
Another picture of the beauty surrounding us.
Ahh yes I am scouting out the area, oh no wait I am paddling, but I look like I am scouting the area. You see the tee shirt behind me. That was there along with my shorts and top I was attempting to dry them out.
Here is my excellent partner, goofing off. He really was great at directing us and together we made great decisions minus one.
Here is me again.
Here is a beautiful refreshing waterfall that Bryan brought us to. I was totally excited, they make me so happy. I get all giddy and such.
Here is Rachie and I enjoying the cold fresh water. I love waterfalls.
The boys got a little adventursome and climbed up in search of more waterfalls.
Elijah was so adventuresome that he climbed up the waterfall in search of more waterfalls.
We finally got everyone back and got ready to head back out on the creek.
This is the top of the Mother, the most dangerous rapids on this creek. We did not know we were there until we were going over it.
That rock in the middle is the Little Mother. This is the rock that you are supposed to avoid and if you go to the left it is a level 3 to the right it is a 2+. We all took the 3. Well Bryan and I tried to take the 3 but we ended up ramping Little Mother, which was so much fun, especially for me since I was in the front. We almost made it through but I was like half hanging out after we made it over, so we tumped. Bryan made me pull my knees up which probably saved me from being totally covered in bruises.
The Little Mother would be to the very left I think you can barely see it. That huge rock is the Mother and the boys are headed right to it and hit it head on.
Here is Luke coming down on the kayak. The only ones who made it down without tumping were those on the kayak. When Bryan and I tumped I totally forgot about the clothes drying on our canoe and lost my outfit and Rachel's tee. I went back down just floating and found her top but my outfit was lost.
This is the very end of the rapids, it is very swift right here and Bryan hung onto the canoe and it pulled him between these two rocks that you can barely see and the canoe got stuck and he was being pulled under but somehow he got it unwedged. I asked him if I could just float around where it looked safer. I let him be the brave one.
This is all the way at the bottom of the Mother, Elijah is pulling me in the canoe. This was after I had found Rachel's tee shirt.
More beauty on the creek.
The beauty behind us and Bryan paddling away.
On the very left of this picture in the sunlight right by the shore is a beaver. When he was right beside us I was fishing for the camera and he was swimming up creek so the picture sucks. He was so cute though. Jon had been yelling beaver over and over before this and then we saw one. I was so excited, I have never seen one in the wild before. I am not sure I have seen one in captive either.

This is the huge bruise I walked away with. The front of my legs were covered in bruises. I looked like I was a battered woman. I was sort of fearful someone may call the cops when they saw my legs.

5000 Fed

This weekend we decided to invite everyone from Bible study over for lunch on Sunday. I did this thinking about 10 may come tops. I asked that everyone email me and RSVP to know how much I should cook. By the time we made it home and started the food off, we were up to 18 coming. Not only was I fearful about providing food for them all, but also adequate seating or even space in our 2 bedroom, 930 square foot townhouse. I had tripled the recipe but even that was only supposed to feed 15. Someone asked if I had prayed over the food (joking) because we all were satisfied and there was a tiny bit left, after it all. We had sides along with it, if not we would have run out of food.

Ministry of Music

This is my prayer today.

Draw Me Close
Michael W Smith

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm Your friend
You are my desire no one else will do
There's nothing else can take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find a way bring me back to You.
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know you are near.

I add help me want you and nothing else, because nothing else will do.

Have a Slice of Humble Pie

It is so quiet here today that you could hear a pin drop. Well that is everywhere other than my office. To make up for the lack of talking and hussle and bustle I have my music going full force and I am totally Jammin here in my office. Once again the faculty are all at their yearly retreat so I am ALL BY MYSELF! If my faculty can retreat today so can I.

As usual I finished all my work I had by about 9 maybe 9:30, I did have quite a pile. I am beginning to wonder what all the other staff do around here when they are done with their work. I know they have about as much as I do some maybe a little more, so what do they do when they get it all done.

I wonder because when I came in this morning I had a pile of tests that I just had to plug in the score on my computer, so I did it first thing. It took me about 15 minutes at the most. So I finish some other things and then head to turn some of the tests to the registrar and some to the staff who gave them to me. She was just coming in so I gave them to her she looked at me in like shock and wonder and said, "You are done with those already!?!?" I said, "Yeah all I have to do is type in the numbers and then check over to make sure I have them right." You would think no one would be impressed by doing this in this sort of time frame. But she claimed I am such a fast worker and stuff like that. I mean how should I take that, it's not like I typed it all faster than anyone in the world. I know for a fact plenty of people can type numbers faster than me and could have done it in a more timely manner.

I think I have the answer, at least this is what one of my faculty and I came up with when she was talking about the difference between my predecessor and I. Basically my faculty had to do pretty much everything themselves, because my predecessor would claim she could not do it or did not have time. I guess she spent a lot of time just staring at the computer screen. How she could spend even an hour doing this I can't even comprehend. When I came I had to show my faculty that I could work and I desired to work, I CAN'T stand staring blankly at a computer screen. They had to learn how to delegate things over to me.

Don't get me wrong I am not perfect and I am not trying to claim to be. Months ago, actually in December one of my faculty gave me something to do but had told me it was no rush. So I put it off and ended up never doing it. Well then yesterday she was looking for it really hard on her computer and could not find it but was sure I had done it and sent it to her. Because she has like 300 unopened emails, this is hard for her, but she was really trying to find it without having me send it again. She finally gave in and asked me about it. I thought about it and then remembered she had told me no rush so I had totally forgotten to do it. My pride was crushed, as it should be. Serve me up a huge slice of humble pie. They tend to brag and carry on about how fast and wonderful I am then I pull a stunt like this. Not only that but this was a document she needed to edit and have turned in by tomorrow. She ended up having to take it home to finish it, if I had done it when she asked me, or just done it a week ago, she would not be stuck having to try to get it done at home. So in NO WAY am I the best Administrative Assistant there is, but there is a difference between how I work, and how my faculty claim most everyone else works. Note to self always do work right when you get it, or after you finished what you were currently doing.

The lesson I learned... Ephesians 6:5-6
Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ; not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.

Eww now I think back what have been my motives for doing the work in a quick manner? Was it to receive more praise from my faculty or was it I was working as if Christ were my boss? Yeah that one is easy, the answer should be I work for God and He has only put my boss over me, so therefore I have a great attitude about getting work and I do it as quickly as possible because that pleases God. The truth is not so pretty. I do love the praise and although I do not blatantly think how can I get them to praise me, because sometimes it embarrasses me, I still think more of doing it for the praise/reputation/raise/etc. rather than because it pleases Christ. Another area of growth for me.

Mother

God custom made me for this mother.

Psalm 139:13-14

For You formed my inward parts;

You wove me in my mother's womb.

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.

They say birds of a feather flock together.

My Tribute to Mom

This is my tribute to my mother. This mother's day I wanted to honor her by telling her how much I appreciate her and what she has done.

Judith Ann Johnson

“You’ll turn out to be your mother.” This phrase is threatening to some people or a source of fear. But that is not true for me. I am happy that I see glimpses of my mother in my day to day life. It is great to see how much I am like her and yet I have far to go.

You see the most important aspect of my mother is that she is a woman of God. Every day she draws her strength at the Wellspring of Life in her morning devotions and prayer. Mom prays for us in the morning and used to tuck us into bed and pray with us at night. Mom always had some biblical truth to teach my sister and I. She could turn almost any conversation heavenward. She lived out Deuteronomy 6:6-7

These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

Mom loved her roles in life. She loved my dad and kept our house nice and tidy, until we could get our hands on it. My mother taught me submission although I did not know the name for it. She supported and honored my father and his leadership. She cared and provided for us. It pained her when we did not obey. She kept a balanced budget and showed me how to make things work within your budget. She was a jack of most trades I acquired a love for sewing, cooking and gardening from her. My mom taught me how to be productive and not waste your time. She would not just waste a few hours or more watching a movie and not getting anything done she would put in a movie and pull out sewing, ironing, or a new recipe.

My mom played an essential part in my salvation. She has prayed for me always and when I came to the end of my rope she showed me Christ’s sacrifice and love by sacrificing a weekend trip with my father to stay home with me. I am pretty sure if she had not I would not be where I am today.

Mom was a nurse without a degree. She was so compassionate and cared for all our bumps and scrapes. When we just could not sleep she would come and lay with us until we nodded off. When we were scared in the middle of the night she would answer our helpless cries in amazing time. She was a haven for us. A place of comfort where we knew we were safe.

She taught me the healing power of tears and laughter. It is not good to bottle up your emotions, and mom never let me cry alone. She would listen patiently as we told her our pains and fears. I knew exactly where to turn when things looked bleak and I could not find my way.
I love my mother and pray I continue to grow into a woman of God like she is.

Saturday

On Saturday we attending an Unlocking the Bible conference at our church. There were three sessions: the first The Old Testament Knowing God the Father, The Gospels Trusting Christ the Son, and The Epistles Living in the Spirit. It was wonderful and I was blown away. For each session he had a diagram of mountains and valleys that he used as an outline guide.
For the Old Testament the mountains are what God has done and the valleys are what man has done.
The Gospel shows Christ in His Highest Place (mountain) and in His Lowest Places (valleys).

Then the Epistles couple the Christian walk.

In about 6 hours he covered the entire Bible. I was very blessed to be able to attend.

The downloadable sermons are available at http://64.19.50.210/. I would highly recommend listening to them. He used great illustrations to illustrate his points, I learned a lot.