My Legacy

On my dad's side of the family we are greatly blessed to have a firm Christian legacy. My grandmother and grandfather greatly feared God and raised their children in that fear. And only 2 out of 9 have not followed in that legacy.

I am always reminded of the blessing it is when I come to visit. Grandma was taken to her Lord and Savior 3 years ago in March but Grandpa in his own words, "is still making it." When asked how he is doing.

Patience is necessary when talking with him and especially for living with him. He has severe dementia so every day is Sunday to him and he is so antsy to go to church. Many times we will have to send him back to change about 3 times on an especially confusing day. No matter what he forgets he is always remembers the Lord. He reads his Bible every night. Now some nights he has to be reminded. He then prays for us all. The family was even in the paper when dad was a child because they filled a whole church pew every Sunday.

He has such wit too. I was telling him at about 9:30 pm that it was past his bedtime and he said well I will just go to sleep right now and tilted his head back and started snoring. He also was saying something the other day and I answered him and then he mocked me. Mom had to point out that he was making fun of me and I told her I was very aware aware that was what he was doing.

I love how he sits with his paper open in his hands and nods off. He often sits on the couch and looks through his magazines that he has gone through a million times. Today he came in from his chores and sat down on the couch and found a piece of hay. He said what do we have here, do you want this, it is worth ten dollars and twenty seven cents. The man is still quick. I have the best Grandpa in the world and had the best Grandma in the world. He misses her a lot, he was a one woman man there was none before her and none to follow.

Vacation Time

Tomorrow we take off for Maine. YEAH!! How exciting is that? Let me tell you I am like a kid before Christmas. I have been rendered completely useless at work and keep talking about and fidgiting until the day passes. I have decided to use some of my many sick hours and leave after lunch today, I could not make it through the whole day. I have all of one faculty member here today and she has yet to give me work so once again I play my games and update my blog.

I am so ready to be in Maine and run to my mommy's arms. Yes I am a momma's girl. Then come home and find daddy and he may just cry to see us. It has been almost a year since I have seen my daddy. Mom got to come and visit in April but that was long ago too.

I learned how much of my daddy is in me last night. Mom called and she was telling me that daddy had found one of the fluffy kittens in the old heifer barn that morning and she had frozen to death, she was one of his favorites. Mom said he was quite upset when he brought her little body into the breezeway. Some how she did not get into the barn where it was warm and the temperature had been -1 the night before. That would have broke my heart too. I would probably try to warm her and bring her back to life. We are both lovers of animals. I attempted to save two robin chicks that had fallen out of a nest over our old backyard, one died and the next day when I found the second one I just took it to a vet that will care for wild animals and let them go. I could not see another one die on my time.

Back to the trip. We are taking off at 5:30 in the morning and our dear friend, Naomi is sacrificng her morning sleep to drop us off. I am not sure I will be able to sleep tonight. I have never ever been really good about sleeping the night before traveling. I just love to travel and the anticipation kills me. Now don't get me wrong I could do without the tiny plane, and want to pass out when I get on them but they are a necessary evil. Not only are we traveling but we are going to see our family. And Grandpa's dementia gets worse as the days go on, so who knows if he will even remember us next time. My cousin who comes over about once a week has to introduce himself each time as his grandson.

Promises Ring True

Isaiah 41:10
'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'

Last night in Bible study we talked about Luke 8:22-25, where Jesus calms the storm but not before His disciples begin to fear and can't find their faith. How this has reigned true for me in the past few weeks with the minimal trials I have gone through. I am so quick to fret and panic and wonder what I can do, but aside from God's work in my life I can do nothing but fail. Another promise that comes to mind is Hebrews 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." Our lives exist to please God and when our faith can't be found we are not doing that. Oh I pray that we may be found faithful and pleasing in His sight no matter what may befall us.

Today's reading was in Isaiah and Isaiah 53:4-5 came alive to me through a song I love.
Isaiah 53:4-5
Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.

The song is:
Healed
by Nicole Nordeman

We stuttered and we stammered til you save us
A symphony of chaos til you play us
Phrases on the pages of unknown
Until you read us into poetry and prose
We are kept and we are captive til you free us
Vaguely unimagined til you dream us
Aimlessly unguided til you lead us home

And by your voice we speak
And by your strength no longer weak,
we are no longer weak

And by your wounds we are healed
tell me what kind of love is this
and by your wounds we are healed

Passed over and passed by until you claim us
Orphaned and abandoned until you name us
Hidden and disclosed til you expose our hearts

And by your death we live
It is by your gift we might give
We might give

And by your wounds we are healed
Tell me what kind of love is this
And by your wounds we are healed

And what kind of love
Would take your shame
And spill His blood for you
Save us by his wounds

By your wounds we are healed
Tell me what kind of love is this
And by your wounds we are healed
What kind of love
By your wounds we are oh
Tell me what kind of love is this
By your wounds we are healed, healed

Thanksgiving Fun

I just got back some pictures from Thanksgiving so I thought I would share some classics moments in the life of the Johnson girls.

This first one is of Rachel on Monster Piece Theatre. Please tell me you remember that from Sesame Street. This was on Thanksgiving day after we had stuffed ourselves with food, that Rachel decided to indulge in some classic literature. If I am not mistaken this is really an atlas. Poor girl is a little confused. Blame the tryptophan.

This would be me the day after Thanksgiving. Let's take into account I am one of those crazy people who get up at 5 to shop and did so until about 8:30 then took a short nap hence the bags and dark circles. This being our first time to have Thanksgiving without family, therefore no leftovers I decided to cook a turkey the day after Thanksgiving. I turned into Hannah-housewife and went to basting. This is me holding the turkeys heart in my hand and giving an evil laugh. I decided to live outside the box and eat the organs. They were good especially the heart.

This is me making the turkey dance. I also made it talk well gobble and I think I heard it accurately pronounce Andrew's middle name. Ok so I have a vast childlike imagination and am easily entertained, I admit it. I had a little too much fun with my dinner. Rachel was the sane one this day. We tend to balance each other out (one being sane the other insane), except on special occasions when we work off each other but that is entertaining for all.

How My Mind Works

It's the most wonderful time of the year. The air gets cold we huddle together to try to get warm. I get totally giddy as Christmas and the winter season approach. I have to admit, it is hard to take things in perspective and always keep a heavenly mind when the lust of the eyes, flesh and pride of life, try to rip us away from the Meaning of this time of year.

What a way to twist one of the most sacred holidays, if you really think about it. Let's put up the tree and then fuel greed and covetousness by giving gifts. This is the time of year when all sorts of pretty things are shown on commercials to fuel desire. How many times have I heard children see something on TV and then say I want that, I want that one, I need that, get that for me. It is hard to find someone who truly lives by, "it's the thought that counts" behind a present. If that were true, would we have a plight with the return lines the day after Christmas?

Christ has already given us the gift of Life, what more could we want, nothing more do we need. John 12:46 "I have come as Light into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me will not remain in darkness. John 18:37 Therefore Pilate said to Him, "So You are a king?" Jesus answered, " You say correctly that I am a king For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, to testify to the truth Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice." This is the reason for our giving of gifts. Jesus came so we may really live, so that we could live up to all we were made for, so that we might escape eternal torment and the fires of what we really deserve. On top of that He makes sure we have everything we need. He promises we will not go without food, clothes and shelter. Our God provides but we still feel a void we think we can fill with love, toys, food or many other things.

* I Am *
by Nichole Nordeman
Pencil marks on a wall,
I wasn't always this tall
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed.
You watched my team win, and watched my team lose
Watched when my bicycle went down again
When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Elbow Healer, Superhero, come if you can You said, I Am

Only sixteen, life is so mean
What kind of curfew is at 10 pm?
You saw my mistakes and watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I'd never love again
When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, be my best friend
You said, I Am

You saw me wear white by pale candlelight
I said 'forever' to what lies ahead
Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
Too much it might seem when it is 2 am.
When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
Oh, Shepherd Savior, Pasture Maker, hold on to my hand
You said, I Am

The winds of change and circumstance
Blow in and all around us
So we find a foothold that's familiar
And bless the moments that we feel you nearer

When life had begun I was woven and spun
You let the angels dance around the throne
Who can say when, but they'll dance again
When I am free and finally headed home
I will be weak, unable to speak, still I will call You by name
Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer
Lord and King, Beginning and the End
I Am, I Am

The Art

For some reason it is always this time of year when this song really hits home. The songs I love best speak my name the most or are encouraging to me with the certain things I am facing. God has proven Himself faithful to me time and time again and yet I keep getting in situations where I am just not trusting Him. For some reason I just keep thinking there is something I have to do, somehow put my hand in the situation, as if God hasn't kept everything going just fine thousands of years before me. The cycle has to be broken and I can only cry out to God to help me let go and watch and to see His work in me.

The Art
Rachael Lampa

This is all so beautiful
But how much of this will really be
Enough to keep me on my feet
This is how it feels, when it's for real
But how much can be invisible
Enough for me to just believe

And I'm chasing the wind
And ending up right where I began
I know that there's an art to starting over again
Knowing God will never waste the pain
You can only try so hard, to right a wrong
This song will only last so long
Life takes time, so let it live alone

I may never know why, I should just let it go
But do I really want a God that I can understand
Still I close my eyes, try to reason why
But since when do my desires, dominate the plan

And I'm chasing the wind
And ending up right where we begin
I know that there's an art to starting over again
Knowing God will never waste the pain
You can only try so hard, to right a wrong
This song will only last so long
Life is just the art of living on

And life is in slow motion
And when the silence is deafening
Hold on tight, you're gonna cry
There's always a reason why

I know that there's an art to starting over again
And I know that God will never waste my pain
You can only try so hard, to walk alone
This song will only last so long
Life is just the art of living on
It comes down to the art of living on

Early Christmas

It is an early Christmas I am having at work. My boss came by yesterday and gave me the cutest pottery angel that you can put a tea light in. She is about 10 inches tall and has stars punched out on her outfit so the candle light can shine through. Then like 2 hours before I was going to leave, one of the ladies in the purchasing department brought me my new scanner. We had both asked the dean's for one for both our offices and that was like 2 months ago, and they kept putting it off, so she made the executive decision to buy us both scanners. So I have a new scanner and wanted to share some great photos from my camera. These are from October when we went to the Little Rock Air Show.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's the Thunderbirds!

Here are all of the Thunderbirds.

Looks like they are going to crash doesn't it?

Here are they are flying practically on top of each other.

I am having all too much fun with this scanner.

Gratitude

This is like one of my favorite songs as of right now and I thought it would be very appropriate to put the lyrics in here because of recent events it hits home.

Gratitude
Nicole Nordeman

Send some rain would you send some rain
Because the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade.
Would you send a cloud thunder long and loud
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely you can see that we are thirsty and afraid.

Or maybe not, not today, maybe You'll provide another way
And if that's the case
We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain.

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies keep our children fed
Fill our cups and fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time

Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide another way and if that's the case
We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
At lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead
And if we never taste our bread

Oh the differences that often are between
Everything we want and what we really need.

So grant us peace, Jesus grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight

Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away and if that's that case
We'll give thanks to you with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You

That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need, if you never grant us peace.
But Jesus would You please

Measure My Stress

This past week was a duzy and it brought me back to one of my weakest points, not freaking out when I am taken by surprise but trusting in God. Last week I was taken back when I got two notices from my bank that I had bounced checks. I freaked out and called to check where they came from. The first one I had written down that I had deposited some money but never did, validly my fault. Then the second I could not believe. So you can understand I will go back over a month ago. I ordered software online for a friend because I can get it cheaper working for the University, I get a educator's discount. So I ordered it and I had to send a copy of my check stub for verification. I made a copy and sent my check for payment. Well the check stub without the check attached does not bear the name UAMS and so I had made a copy of my ID but that has to have dates on it to be a veritable form of ID to them so they cancelled the order, and sent me an email. I did not understand so I called them she said it needed the school name on it or a date on my ID so I said ok I will just go online later and order it again. She did not tell me not to mail another check. I figured cancelled order cancelled check. So a few days later I order again and send a copy of my check stub with check attached and another check to pay. I get my order all is fine and dandy, that second check went through on the 7th of November, but things turn ugly on the 14th when they cash the first check. I bounced that check and the bank charges $17.43 per bounced check and from that one check I thought had been shredded made me bounce $52 some dollars worth of checks. That is the charges from the checks. I called the bank again and they said that I needed to call the company and they should cover the overdraft charges because it was no fault of my own that they cashed that check. I had to leave a message and the lady called back and left me a message that they could not cover it because they had no way to know, they checks they receive go straight to the bank, but if that were the case the first check would have been cashed in the middle of October. Not only that they had written the order number on my check so it seems they maliciously cashed that second check. I called and left a second message but she has not called back. I am very frustrated because I trusted they would not cash that check and I now have to pay $52 for their mistake. I am not going to call them anymore I have decided to let go. I know God is in control and I told myself this as the days have gone by, but it is so hard to believe when justice is really not being served. Then again if I got what I deserved I would be damned to hell eternally and worse, but I have been given grace. So I have let go and if God wants he will make these people pay for those charges he will, but if he does not I will still be thankful because I have learned to be more cautious with my money and ask more questions and not trust people so much. Not that I am never going to trust anyone but be more cautious with my trust of people I do not know. No matter what God will provide whether I have to pay or they do. By the way you don't want to mess with JourneyEd Marketing in Texas. Or if you do be very careful about it.

Look Like Rebekah

This is me and my fellow nose ringer. We are just like Rebekah. For Rebekah, soon to be Isaac's wife had a ring put in her nose when his father's servant went to find her for him. Found in Genesis 24:47 "Before I had finished speaking in my heart, behold, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder, and went down to the spring and drew, and I said to her, 'Please let me drink.' "She quickly lowered her jar from her shoulder, and said, 'Drink, and I will water your camels also'; so I drank, and she watered the camels also.
Then I asked her, and said, 'Whose daughter are you?' And she said, 'The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor's son, whom Milcah bore to him'; and I put the ring on her nose, and the bracelets on her wrists. "And I bowed low and worshiped the LORD, and blessed the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who had guided me in the right way to take the daughter of my master's kinsman for his son."
This is the answer for the many times people ask me why I have a nose ring I like it better than earrings.

Good email

One of my coworkers sent me this and it is even more important for believers.

TRAVEL LIGHTBy Dr. John C. Maxwell

One of the first international trips my wife, Margaret, and I took together was to Japan. When we were choosing luggage for our journey, we decided to get the biggest suitcases we could find. It seemed like a logical idea at the time—after all, the bigger the suitcase, the more we could pack in it.

Unfortunately, while we were packing, it never once occurred to me that we were going to have to carry those bags wherever we went. Now, if you know anything at all about Japan, you know that traveling by rail is often the best way to get around there. Needless to say, we spent a lot of time lugging our suitcases in and out of train stations. I remember going to one particular depot with two bags that were as big as me, both stuffed nearly to bursting. I was struggling to get to the train with my suitcases, Margaret was struggling down the street with hers, and neither of us was very happy about the whole situation.

Finally, I'd had enough. I stopped right where I was, put the suitcases down and said, "Margaret, anyone who can carry these suitcases can have them! I'm just going to leave them right here. I'm not carrying them anymore."

That little incident, which my sweet wife and I jokingly say is closest we ever came to getting divorced, taught us a valuable lesson: Travel light.

Margaret and I learned this lesson so well that, on subsequent trips, we've literally gone out of the country with nothing but our carry-on luggage. In addition to preserving our marital bliss, traveling light alleviates the stress of keeping track of numerous bags, saves time previously spent waiting around at airport baggage claims and keeps us from getting worn out before we ever get to our destination. On top of all that, it doesn't take us nearly as long to unpack once we get home.

As helpful as it is to travel light on a business trip or vacation, it's even more critical to travel light through life. Let me explain what I mean. Many people go through life with far too much emotional baggage. They didn't necessarily intend to fill the biggest bags they could find with their personal junk, but along the way, they've somehow managed to collect quite a stash. A chip on the shoulder here; an ugly batch of pent-up anger there. Ten years' worth of hurt feelings here; three decades of rejection there. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture.
Sadly, these individuals fail to realize the damage their excess baggage is inflicting on themselves and others. For example, a recent survey indicated that people with emotional problems are 144 percent more likely to have automobile accidents than those who do not have such problems. In addition, one of the study's most sobering findings was that one out of every five victims of fatal accidents had quarreled with someone in the six hours before the accident.

This is why it's so important to practice what I call "keeping short accounts." When you keep a short account, you ask for forgiveness quickly when you hurt someone. When you treat someone badly, you make it right as soon as possible. You don't hold grudges. You don't go to bed angry. You don't allow your own injured feelings to fester into bitterness or resentment.

The importance of keeping short accounts really hit home with me when I had a heart attack several years ago. As I lay there, honestly not knowing if I was going to live or die, I felt a tremendous amount of peace because I knew my relational ledger was clean. Ironically, the thought that kept coming to my mind during those first tense hours was, "I don't have to call anybody on the phone." It was true. I didn't have to make any last-ditch apologies or ninth-hour requests for forgiveness because I had made an intentional effort to travel light through life.
From a practical standpoint, traveling light means that I have to ask somebody to forgive me almost every day. It means that I often have to sit down with Margaret and say, "I'm sorry for using that tone of voice; I was wrong." It means that I have to initiate reconciliation with people who have offended me, not wait for them to make the first move.

None of this is easy. It's often humbling and hard on my ego. And yet, the alternative is much worse. Failing to travel light blurs your focus on what really matters and impairs your ability to live and lead effectively. So if you're carrying a bunch of excess baggage, get rid of it. Write a letter. Make a phone call. Do whatever you need to do.

Just do it now. You've got more important things to do than cart around unnecessary—and potentially life-threatening—luggage for the rest of your life.

Lessons Learned Today

Today's devotions tied with last night's Bible study on Romans 14. I would like to share with you the points that really speak to me from Psalms 140-143.

• Our friends reprove we should take as a friendly thing to do, bear it patiently and take it as kindness
• We are to lay our troubles before the Lord and leave them there. How easy it is to lay it all out to God but how often do we pick it right back up and worry or ponder on it more.
• We are God's servants, bound to Him, accountable to Him and solicitious to obtain His favor. But how often do we seek man's approval and totally forget our Heavenly Father, who sent His ONLY Son to die for our sakes.
• In times of trouble we should follow David's lead and look back to what God has done for His people, look around to see the magnificent works of God, and look up to God for His favor on us.
• Sometimes those that who are really concerned to walk right are in doubt, and in the dark, as to which is the right way. We are to ask God which way we should walk. Then ask Him to teach us how to walk in that way.
• We cannot find the way that will bring us to that land unless God show us, nor go in that way unless he take us by the hand and lead us, as we lead those that are weak, or lame, or timorous, or dim-sighted; so necessary is the grace of God, not only to put us into the good way, but to keep us and carry us on in it.

On another note, are we not the cutest sisters in the whole world? I love my SISTER I love my SISTER! She is the best and most crazed roomy in the world especially when football is on. We got a compliment the other day from our new neighbors that they are happy to have us there because they have not heard a thing from us and those that preceded us were pretty loud. Maybe this will be an opportunity for ministry to them. The reason why this is pertenant is because I agreed with her except when football is on, Rachie gets really loud.

This one is for Tami. I am sure you have been missing the walrus in me, and my many other eccentricities so here is one for you. Me going crazy over some breadsticks at Olive Garden for my birthday. Yes, dad I am your daughter, as exhibited here.

Lessons from the Word

As I have been pouring through the Psalms with the help of Matthew Henry's commentary I have been greatly blessed by what I am learning and convicted at the same time. Repeatedly we are called to bless God and praise His name. I was really convicted about the time I spend "bored" whether at work or home. I have always been quick to claim boredom when I am not immediately engrossed in some fun activity.
From Psalm 134 Henry points out that we should converse with God when we have nothing else to do. I have always been quick to pray as I lay in my bed waiting for sleep to befall me or when I have woke and completed my devotions but I never thought in those times when I am prone to whine and complain that I do not have anything to do to lift up my voice to the Almighty. From 135 I learned we are to take all occasions to speak well of God. How often we are quick to admit our accomplishments but even those only take place because of Him.
He also points out that the idols in biblical times were made by human hands and people still would worship them. They would worship things that could not even make themselves. This applies today too, whatever takes up most of our thoughts is an idol to us and those are things that God has blessed us with but we in turn praise the thing and not God. Maybe it is something you don't have but want, there is a reason why you don't have it. What we really NEED is God and that is it. God will never be all you need until He is all you have. This statement is so true for my life. I had to have nothing left, nothing in my control before I really came to God.
Another sobering thought from Psalm 139 is that God knows our moves, imaginations, all we say and what we think and every part of us because He made us. Even when we think we can hide in the darkness, God made that too and it is just like light to Him. There is no where we can hide from God. So why not surrender your all to God?
God knows when I got an unreasonable bill that I was sure my insurance would cover that I started freaking out and not trusting Him. He allowed that to be, if it is a mix-up and they are going to pay, His is in control, if not and I have to pay He will provide, because He is in control. As Psalm 136 repeats "His mercy endures forever". Like my verse on my desk says: Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart." Was I trusting yesterday? NO! Did I need to let go and let God? Yes. Let me tell you it still is not easy to let Him take care of me but through prayer and the Holy Spirit anything is possible.

Costume party

My hand made costume. Here I go frolicking some more.
Little Red Riding Hood goes frolicking to Grandmother's house with some goodies for her. No big bad wolves in this girl's path, she had Jason go before her and kill them all.

Also staples in the Count's diet are Chex Mix and cinnamon pita chips and pumpkin fluff, apples with caramel and other delights.

The count is out to get you. Blah blah!
Rachel with her 999th victim. Who seems frightened in a happy way, which is weird because her life has just been sucked out of her.

Here are all the people at the party. It was a great time and all the freaks and geeks came out to play and the cute ones.

Hanna's Party

Here is the Princess and her brother Armon or better known as Batman. They are such great beautiful kids and I love them to death.

This is my little Hanna's 3rd birthday party. She was the most beautiful child Princess in the whole wide world.

Hit the Heart string

I was very comforted and encouraged in a friend's post. So much so that I needed to post it myself. It is from the book Morning and Evening. It hit me right in the heart string.

“Believer…you should be satisfied with your earthly portion; for you may rest assured that it is the fittest for you. Unerring wisdom ordained your lot, and selected for you the safest and best condition…Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there. You are placed by God in the most suitable circumstances…Be content with such things as you have, since the Lord has ordered all things for your good. Take up your own daily cross; it is the burden best suited for your shoulder, and will prove most effective to make you perfect in every good word and work to the glory of God.
Trials must and will befall—
But with humble faith to see
Love inscribed upon them all;
This is happiness to me.”
Psalm 16:5 (NIV) says, “Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.”
I am also reminded of Psalms 23, I have heard it and memorized it but never really thought or meditated on what it means.
The LORD, the Psalmist's Shepherd.
A Psalm of David.
"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
What a God we serve. May His Name be praised and may we learn to always trust Him.

Hanna and Armon again

The last post somehow got posted before I was done with it. I tend to type real fast and that leads to me hitting a lot of keys I do not mean to hit. Here is Armon. I am not sure what he is doing with his hand. I caught him unaware though. He was on the couch in his "car" watching a Ronald McDonald movie, I cringe every time they want to watch it. Let's say it is not the highest quality of video ever made. And Ronald's dog Sundae looks freaky when he is not a cartoon. Well when he is a cartoon he looks crazy too. Here is Hanna doing her monster face not looking so scary. Too busy with her sucker and wanting to get back to the movie. Here is a picture of them together and both of thier eyes look really freaky to say the least, they have worse than red eyes they are like red and glaring.

Hanna and Armon

This is my little Hanna and her brother Armon. I was her nanny when she was 7 months for the summer but started caring for her at Day care since she was about 5 months old. I have continued to babysit for her and her brother. Here are some shots from my most recent extravaganza with them. This is Hanna sitting on the coffee table eating her treat for being a good girl.

Changing Seasons

Ahh the Fall has arrived officially in Arkansas. For the past few weeks we have tottered back and forth between 90 degree and 60 degree weather. This makes a wonderful habitat for viruses and bacteria to florish and they have taken up that opportunity and multiplied and have found homes in many of my co-workers and myself. They are unstoppable in this weather. As I whine at my desk I have made a few discoveries. The medication that actually tastes good never does any good and they stuff you would not feed to your enemies makes you feel wonderful and like new. Luden's for example taste like candy, mom never had to press me to take one but I would keep on coughing like there was no tomorrow, so that called for more Ludens (what a rough life being sick and taking candy for it). Then there is Theraflu, I am not talking the pill kid that takes a hour to start working, I am talking the powder packets that you put in some hot water and gag as you try to swallow, that would make me feel tons better real fast although the supposed non-drowsy would knock me off my feet. Anyways my throat is feeling scratchy and mid whine, one of my faculty offered a Cepacol sore throat lozenge. She warned me it did not taste very good but they work small miracles. Let me say thank you to Mr. Cepacol. THat horrible tasting thing went in my mouth and within a minute my tongue was gettign numb so I did not taste the nastyness anymore and then it worked its way down and numbed my throat. It was wonderful. You learn new things every day.

Tribute to my Cat

Proverbs 12:10A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal,But even the compassion of the wicked is cruel.

For those of you who have not had the marvelous priviledge of meeting my cat this is Misty. No I am not one of those crazed fanatic pet owners, save the whales and care more about the pets that were homeless in New Orleans than the people. I believe God put animals on the world for our enjoyment and I certainly enjoy my crazed cat. This is a normal hangout pose that she is displaying here. She likes to lounge in abnormal positions practically anywhere in the house.

This other one is her chasing after a cord while staying in one place. Some of the talents she possesses are phenomenal. She is able to completely bend an antenna around a lamp pole going one way while making the other antenna bend completely the other way. THis was accomplished by trying to get into some food we had left in a bag on the floor. SHe got caught in the bag and ran around like a crazed lunitic and I thought my sister had fallen down the stairs.


This last one is of her getting loved. Although she looks a little evil in the eyes, they are getting squinty because she is being petted. Along with the squinting comes drooling. It is not only for the dogs, Misty can't contain her saliva when she is being loved. She has learned to whine less for her food but whine more for attention and love. Although some people who will remain nameless like to put up a front that they do not like my cat, when they are around her they beg for her attention.

Birthday not far away

How exciting it is to be turning 23. I am now only 10 days away from my birthday. How does celebrating a birthday make any sense. I mean think about it, on your birthday you get gifts and it is celebrated that you began to exist in the open air on that day. Should it not make more sense for the mother to be getting gifts for the hours of pain and labor she endured on that day to bring you into the world she did the work why do you get the glory? Look at all the other holidays: Thanksgiving-pilgrims come to America to be able to live freely (they did something), Christmas-Jesus is born for the purpose of saving us, Easter-Jesus dies and is risen to save us, MLKJ day-he spoke up against discrimination, Columbus day- he came and discovered a new world also he killed many indians and took them as slaves but he still did some action to make it worthy of celebrating. But then there is your birthday, you did no work but scream when you came out, and you probably did not like coming out of the womb either, but we are going to treat you like you did something special on this day. It just does not make sense. I guess it makes sense when you take into account Mother's day, that being the day when she is celebrated for giving birth to you and raising you, yet so many people push this holiday aside. So lets all make sure we don't forget our mom's who made our birthday possible.

Maxing and Relaxing 

Testimony of God's Grace in my Life

I was born into a Christian home and at VBS when I was 4 I asked Jesus into my heart. I was so young I am not sure my reasons. I grew up thinking that I was saved because of that prayer. As a child my father was very affectionate to me, but by the age of 11 I was physically mature and that made it awkward for him to show me the affection that every girl needs from her father. At the age of 6 we moved from Maine to Arkansas so that my parents could be missionaries with FamilyLife. This meant that my father would go away 5 days at a time to conferences around the nation about 15 times a year about 8 times a year my mom would join him. I was ok as long as my mom was home with me, but when they both left I could not handle it. I would cry and scream and be physically ill everytime they both left. We went to counselors and no one could figure out why I would act that way. They gave me the opportunity to pick out what friend I would stay with but no one other than my parents would do. I needed the security of one of my parents, they were sure I would grow out of it and by the age of 12 or 13 I no longer cared.
The love I needed from my father I sought out in guys and relationships. There is a hole in all of our hearts that was made for God to fill and our daddy's are our tangible earthly fill for our heart. By the age of 13 I had given my virginity away. I went from one relationship that ended up in heartache to the next, I just knew that there was some guy out there that would give me the love I so desperately desired. I did not know that the love I was looking for was perfected in Jesus. I could find no one else who would love me so purely and fully FOREVER.
My closest friends were the neighborhood kids. This is where I was introduced to drugs. I did not start taking drugs until I was about 12 or 13. I only did them when they were offered until I was able to make money babysitting. I started smoking more often. At the age of 15 I was raped by an ex-boyfriend and his two friends while going to get some drugs. I knew I could not tell my parents so I just hid it inside, my friends encouraged me to get some help and admit that it was not my fault. About two months later I was molested by my best friend's brother's friend. I eventually told her mom and she tried to encourage me to get help but I hid most of the pain. Eventually my parents found out and we went to get counsel. I continued to cope with drugs and began to burn myself and other forms of self-mutilation.
By the time I was 16 I was coming high to school each day. I had already had an acquaintance die but that next May one of my best friend's was killed by a drunk driver. I could not handle it, I would not talk or eat and carried around a picture of her wherever I went. Not only was she killed by a drunk driver but the cop that responded was a friend of the driver that hit them, or something like that, so he did not give him a breathalizer and told people he had a seizure, stroke or sneezed to cause the accident. I felt sorry for him and was very angry when I found out he had been drunk. On the weekends I started taking harder drugs. A month before I turned 17 I broke up with my boyfriend that I had dated on and off, he was so mad that he shot at me. I was scared for my life, I lost touch with reality and became a little nightmare around the house.
One day my sister told my parents that I had been smoking pot, I slept that whole day and tried to avoid my family. I had been going to counseling and that next session I was in a rage. They discussed the possibility of taking me to rehab and I was totally irrational. That night I broke a lamp in anger and tried to beat my dad up over the phone. I had pushed the last button, I knew I was headed to rehab and that I had to get away. I went up to my room pushed out the screen in the window and slid out my two story window. I heard a crack when I landed but was able to pull myself up on our SUV and walk to a hiding place between our neighborhood and the next. I was there about 30 minutes and I got cold and one ankle was swollen but the other looked like a baseball was in my sock. I went home having no where else to go. I hobbled back home in excruciating pain so they could take me to the ER. I knew that meant I would have to go to rehab but I was willing.
Both of my ankles had multiple fractures that did not show up on X-ray so it took about 3-4 months on crutches for them to heal. I was very resistant and lied the first few days in rehab, but then decided I wanted to change. I was there for about a week and left thinking drugs were a part of my past. A couple of weeks later at a Christmas concert I decided I had never been saved at all and wanted to escape hell but I did not want to forsake my sinful ways. I was not truly repentant of my sin. I lived a double life one at church and home and one with my friends. I still could not be totally honest with my parents. By the time I graduated from high school my church attendance dwindled and by the middle of my freshman year in college I did not go at all. By my sophomore year in college I had been through about 5-6 boyfriends and my resolve against ever doing drugs again dissolved. When I turned 20 I decided to smoke a little pot on my birthday. A couple of weeks later I found myself making excuses to smoke more. About a month later I was a full-blown pothead again. I smoked constantly all day long, I did not like being sober.
In March my grandmother died and I was so hurt, she had meant so much to me and was such a godly woman. I withdrew from nursing school because I did not want to deal with death, I was having a hard enough time with it personally. About 3 months after that I was living with my boyfriend and I took some ecstasy a few times. We got along well until about 6 months into dating. He told me he loved me but that he did not want to think about marriage until he was about 25, and he was only 22. I could not understand if he loved me so much why he would not marry me.
This is when I started hearing God calling me. In the beginning of October my mind kept racing, I was worried about school, the future and pretty much everything. I smoked so much and so often that it took a lot of strong weed to even get me high and I wondered if it was even worth it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, I could not concentrate in school, I could not sleep at night and I was miserable. I started staying at home more often and mom realized that I was up all night and came in one night as I was crying and rocking myself.
My world was falling apart. I started venting to her, but I was not sure if I wanted to tell her all of what I had been hiding from her. I knew if I wanted to live there it would all have to stop. By the second night I had to get it out and she was not condemning but gently told me it had to stop, for my own good. I continued to go to school but would pace around the house when I got home and could not stop worrying. I did not want to live anymore but I did not want to die either. I knew I could not keep living my life if it were going to be like that.
Mom had planned to go out of town with dad but when she saw how I was she gave it up to stay with me. She knew that was just what I needed she was showing me what Christ had done for us. No one other than Christ has shown that kind of loving sacrifice to me. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no man than this, that one lay down his life for his friend." Romans 5:7-8 says, "For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
With my mom's help and biblical counsel I withdrew from school and found a full-time job at a day care. I started going back to church and what I was leaning in counseling went along with what we were studying at church, I was amazed. I knew I was not saved and that only God could help me, but I was still in despair. I had hit rock bottom and had to build up from there. Through new friends at the church I was encouraged and one day when I was still unsure about my faith I reiterated that I did not know if I was a believer or not. My friend bluntly asked me what I was waiting for. That night as I went to sleep I prayed and felt like I was talking to God not just talking aloud. I did not pray a certain formula that made me saved I had tried to whole say a prayer thing before, this time it was a heart change a full surrender of my life to Christ to take up my cross and follow him. I knew that God was working in me to make the changes, I could try to do good things but even the best thing I could do would be tainted with sin. I accepted that I was a sinner and could do nothing about it but accept what Christ had done for me and be clothed in His righteousness.
I fell asleep and woke up in peace that morning, my mind was not racing anymore. I truly feel that is when I gave up all my trying and gave my life, my future and all my cares to Christ. Matt 11:29-30 says, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." I realized even though I had done so many horrible things God took all those things and He put them on His perfect Son and let us kill Him, and along with Him dyign were all my sins, I did not have to be a slave to my sins anymore. I could be free. My life went from despair to complete joy in God. Psalm 32:3-5 is my salvation verse it says, "when I kept silent about my sin my body wasted away, through my groaning all day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me, my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to thee and my iniquity I did not hide I said I will confess my transgression to the Lord and Thou didst forgive the guilt of my sin." I confessed all the evil that I had done and He forgave me. I asked Him to change me, after all that time of trying to do it on my own and failing so miserably I gave it all over to Him. God gave me the grace and desire to pursue Him with all my heart. I began to pray a lot and read the Bible everyday. He has given me a passion for Him and totally took away the desire for drugs and relationships and filled that hole in my heart with it's rightful owner, HIM.
My life has not been easy since then, God never promises it will be easy. But rather He promises in John 16:33, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world." Since I was out of school I had to apply for my own health insurance and was declined, but although most of my life I was always sick, I ended up having to go to the doctor only once in the year and a half that I was without insurance. Until my salvation I had suffered from irritable bowel syndrome which is increased by stress once I was saved I was cured. I have not suffered from it since.
That next May my faith was tested, I was falsely accused of hurting one of the children at the day care and was fired. I was so hurt but God gave me the grace and knowledge that this was all in His plan. I found another job at a day care and then in the fall went to finish my Associate's degree.
In the middle of the semester the guy I had been dating and seriously talking about marriage with decided that I was not the one for him and we were not going to work out. I was very hurt but I saw that I had been making him an idol in my life and had been more concerned about our relationship than my relationship with God. I let go and trusted God. We are commanded to give thanks even in our trials and I was thankful for what He was showing me.
I was given a chance to move back to Maine with my parents this January but I prayed hard about it and really felt like I was growing to much spiritually here to just leave. Even though my parents moved back, and this was my first time living alone and by myself, I was not anxious and have not really been lonely either because no matter where I am God is there with me. God had wanted me here because in May my sister left her life of sin and moved in with me. She committed her life to God and we have got along wonderfully since then. Everyday He teaches me more and more about Himself and myself. I no longer want to sin, I want to live for God so that in the end He may say of me well done my good and faithful servant.

Traipsing Through Trials and Tribulation

I was taken away with our church's own Deborah Howard and her wisdom on suffering that she shared with the women of our church on Tuesday night. She is a hospice nurse and has recently written a book called "Sunsets" about death and dying. Being that I went to school for nursing and withdrew after about a year, because I could not handle the dying I would see, this spoke to my heart. I would like to share with you what I took home from this event.
How do you respond to adversity? I Peter 4:12. Do not be surprised when your heart is broken, nothing can happen to us that is not caused or allowed by God. God is all-powerful, all-good all the time. What kind of God do you want? One that will cater to your whims and demands, if that is what you would like you have found your god already, yourself. Satan loves to mislead people, if you listen to what people say and believe it without looking it up in Scripture to find if it is true, you may fall prey to one of Satan's attacks.
Do you think God will spare us from adversity because we are exemplary? Paul was a great example of an exemplary man and other than Job he probably went through the most recorded adversity. Although he went through so many trials he knew he was blessed because of his relationship with God, that no one could take away.
When others around us are suffering here are some things we can do for them.

1. Come alongside them, just be there.
2. Be specific with your requests, figure out their needs and meet them.
   

Purposes of suffering.
We are to arm ourselves with the tools you need before you will need them.

• To complete our sanctification-we would not be who we are without the things that have happened to us. God knows exactly what we need to become what He has planned for us. We have to be receptive to what He is doing, be obedient, and trust even when we do not understand. We tend to focus on how bad it hurts. Think of how God is using this in your life. Don't rejoice because of the suffering but rather what it will bring about. Romans 8:28-29, Romans 5:3-5
• Drive us to God-health is a good thing but sickness is better if that is what it takes to bring us to God.
• Teach us God's law-submit to God's will like a patient submits to the surgeon in surgery. Bring the Word of God to bear upon your situation. Remember the adversity you have been through.
• Teach us to trust God's promises-makes it a little easier each time we face that adversity.
• Demonstrate God's love to us-He blesses us through adversity. James 1:17
• Discipline his wayward children-this really hurts Him more than it hurts us. Proverbs 3:11-12
• To equip us to comfort others II Corinthians 1:3-5
• Prepare us for coming glory-first have suffering and then glory Romans 8:18
• Give us opportunities to witness-tell people why we respond the way we do
• To make us more grateful and appreciative
• To wean us from this world-we will be preparing ourselves for when we will not have any pain and suffering which will be in heaven II Corinthians 5:1-2
• Create ultimate glory and reward in the life to come I Peter 5:4, Matt 5:12
• To loosen our grip on the people and things we love-when we are ready to die we do not give up that admits defeat but rather we let go (of others dying or our own life)
• To reveal sin in us-may bring out the worst in us. Ask God to search our heart and reveal our sin to us. It may magnify our faith.
• To punish the wicked-this is not for believers, he only punishes unbelievers. He disciplines believers but not punish, because when He looks on believers He sees Christ's righteousness covering us.

What are we to do when we experience trials?

1. Recognize that He is God
2. Stay calm
3. Rejoice in our sufferings James 1:2-4
4. Act responsibly and thoughtfully-learn all you can about the circumstance
5. Go to God's Word, use a concordance if needed
6. Keep your eyes focused on Him and not others, especially do not compare or ask why me and not them, just keep looking to Him. John 21:18-24
7. Pray-ask others to pray for you

I was really touched and I hope these notes are understandable to those who could not be there to actually hear her. I am reminded of a time a friend asked me if I thought we were a victim of our neighborhood (circumstance) and if I thought my life would be different if those things had not happened to me. My answer then and now would be I would not be who I am today if it were not for God allowing those things to happen to me. Hopefully soon I can put my testimony on a blog so you can understand more about why that friend would ask that. God has been abundant in His grace towards me. May His Name always be praised.

New Diet Fad

I have found a new revolutionary diet. It worked for me. In the past two weeks I have sort of given up on counting calories and let myself mindlessly eat the chocolate that was available to me. This has proven effective to enhance weight loss. I lost 2 pounds after mindlessly eating chocolate and feel better that I have given in to the urge for chocolate. There is no scientific research to prove my findings, if you try this diet it is at your own risk. Donuts are also a part of the diet but I would not suggest more than one a day. Actually there were only two days that I had donuts. I may not have gained weight because I did not take in many other calories.

Calm Crisis

Only with God are you able to experience calm in the midst of crisis. I can not say that my sister and I were the perfect example of this these past two days but I know there could have been a lot more anger and frustration if the Holy Spirit were not living in our hearts. You see Monday October 3 I woke up at about 3 am to find that my alarm clock was not even on. This is all by God's grace I was shocked enough to wake up and think to turn on my cell phone's alarm, knowing without an alarm I would wake up at the time I like to be at work.
You would think when you are on a flexible schedule you would come in late a lot. This just is not the case with me. I can come in whenever I would like to as long as I stay 8.5 hours, they give us a hour for lunch. When I am allowed to sleep in I do not want to, I want to get there, work and get home early. Now when I have a set time, I hate getting up and drag myself to work, ironic isn't it. I digress.
Back to the point, I set my alarm and wake up when it goes off, for some reason that morning it did not want to allow me to enable the snooze. I am a firm believer in waking up about 20-30 minutes or more earlier than you need to get up and hitting the snooze 4-5 times, like it is any better for you. So I reset it for 10 minutes and snoozed. I did my devotions by cell phone light. Half way through each chapter I would have to close and open my flip phone to keep the backlight from going out. By the way we just moved into our apartment Saturday so if we even have a flashlight, which I think we do not, I would not know where it is. I then called Entergy, this is about 6 am. They say they will get it on by 8-9 am (this is what I hear). They ask me to check if anyone else has power, I have no idea since no one is awake around us. When I get off the phone I check the breakers and they are all on and our neighbors air conditioning is humming at me, a cruel taunting hum.
I went to work thinking I would come home to energy. Not the case, and of course the temperature is not cool. I tried to just move some things around upstairs and could not because it was so hot, I was sweating from putting cleaning supplies in the linen closet. I called again and she said it must have been something big because it would not be fixed until 8 pm but no later. So we go to our Girl's night out and have dinner. Near 8 my sister started counting down until 8 pm when we are to have power. We get home to surprise no power. We took up our dear friends on their invitation to come and hang out with them.
My sister took a stab at calling Entergy this time. When they informed us that they will not send anyone since it is just our apartment and not the building. We are both frustrated that now 14 hours later they are telling us they have been lying to us. God wanted to teach us a lesson in patience. They tell us we will have to call the apartment maintenance to fix it. We call and this nice Southern man gets on the phone and tells us he will be over and call us if he needs us to come. About an hour later we get a call from him because low and behold our meter has been stolen. He told us to ask Entergy if they had come and taken it, I did not because why would they come with no notice at 2 AM. So again we called and told them that someone had stolen our meter. They said they considered this an emergency and would have someone out shortly. Our maintenance guy informed us that when the meter is taken out the hole it leaves has things exposed that if someone were to touch they would die from electrical shock. That would be enough of an emergency for me. I had no idea that was true.
Well two hours pass and we are still waiting so we called again and they promised us that someone would come during the night. They also argue that no one would come up and touch that so it is not that dangerous. Yeah just like no one would steal your energy meter right?
I wake up this morning and still no electricity. I went downstairs to eat breakfast and there is stuff dripping from the freezer. I look in and the meat is still cold but if it remained without energy for much longer would spoil. These are groceries we had just bought Sunday night.
I was ready to scream and act irrational, knowing I could not afford to replace that food, but that still small voice reminded me that I am to trust in God and nothing could happen to me without Him allowing it. I knew I had to rest in that but my flesh wanted to scream "Give me justice, I do not deserve this." "You owe me." In a way I am right God does owe me, He owes me eternal damnation but He has given me eternal life that I can never come close to deserving. He has not given me what I deserve, because I deserve pain and suffering, death and eternal separation from the Father. My sister called and they informed us that this was not an emergency situation and someone would come fix it that morning. If only they could stick with one story, they are going to fix it, they are not, it is an emergency, it is not an emergency. Get it together people. As I stepped out the door with the meat, to take it to a friend's house so it would not spoil, the Energy truck was there. I asked him if he was going to fix it right then and he said it would take a minute and to go ahead and put the meat back. We were more than elated to have power again. God again has provided for us.

Life Lived Well

As I sit listening to Rascal Flatts sing "When the Sands Run Out" where he talks about living life to the fullest. Although he is right I have a feeling he is talking about living life barely holding onto the reigns, doing whatever, whenever, whereever, to whomever for whatever reason you want to do it. The world tells us to live life to the fullest do whatever we want to do, life is short but none of this matters in the end. I am reminded of Nicole Nordeman's "Legacy" which talks about living life for the Glory of God. When God calls your name you will go and whether you submitted your life to Him and lived to glorify Him is all that will matter. I was reminded of Jim Elliot's famous quote last night at Bible study. From reading Luke 16:9 he penned the quote "He is no fool who loses what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." He lived out that quote in that he was killed by the Auca indians in Ecuador while trying to minister to them. He gave his life giving the glory to God and now he is reaping all the benefits of a life lived well. The man who dies with the most toys still dies and those toys can't come with him.
Matthew 16:26"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

The Bridesmaids 

The infamous bike we found to prank the boys along with it came peeps that covered their cars and one rode the bike. 

Moving Out Move

Well Rachel and I really had our heart set on moving this past weekend. We had about everything we own besides some dishes all packed up. We went to get our key and sign the lease and much to our dismay the man is still living in our new apartment. He was supposed to move out the 13th and I had gone in a week and a half ago to get our address and pro-rate for when we move. She had given me the pro-rate and had to enter our move date into the computer but I guess did not hit enter. They had in the books that we were moving the 30th. I had called Entergy and they were to switch electricity over the 27th so I had to call and change it. God had this all figured out, we would not have had more than 5 people including us to help move and Rita brought rain that would have made most of the boxes soggy and brought mess into the new apartment. So we will wait until the 1st of October to move into our home and try to be patient. We rest in the fact that God is controlling this all and has the best planned out for us.

Accidental Blog setup

Hello all who read. Well I never meant to set up a blog I only wanted to make a comment on Tami's blog but I had to set up one to comment. So here goes my blog. Hopefully my creative juices will serve whoever decides to read this. Today I was not ready for this so I am sorry for my lack of finesse. I am learning as I go so bear with me.